Contact Me

For any concerns, questions,  or for a free, initial phone consultation, you can reach me here:

Sheila Cahilig, LCSW

Coalesce Counseling LLC

1812 Front Street

Scotch Plains NJ 07076

Phone: (908) 322-9292

Cell: (908) 219-7299

Fax: (908) 322-8961

Email: contact@coalescecounseling.com

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My Approach & Our Work Together

My Approach

  • Is a coalescing of my personal and professional experiences. However, my approach has been largely influenced by my personal, and informal studies of Eastern thought and practices such as Buddhism, Qigong, and Aikido, a Japanese martial art and budo ("path to being") premised on non-violence and harmony. The word itself - Aikido - can be translated from the Japanese as "the way of harmonizing universal energy." This practice through Aikido of welcoming and working with all energies, however negative, has profoundly impacted my personal and professional life.

Informed by my practices and studies from above, I have come to identify some key elements that guide my work:

  • Wellness is wholeness. We can often unknowingly confuse wholeness with perfection. Upon deeper reflection, however, we find they are quite different. Wholeness is about being able to embrace the spectrum of duality and through it. 

  • There is only now. We may have had painful experiences in our past that have impacted our lives significantly. We may have fears and insecurities about the future. Our perception too, or how we see these things, can powerfully affect our reactions towards them. Ultimately, however, there is only now and in that now, is freedom.

  • Everything exists in relationship. We may feel alone in our pain and with our problems. However, if we look closely and reflect, we can see how everything is interconnected and how we are less separate than we feel. Seeing this relatedness facilitates the discovery that sometimes the "problem" is not the problem, but rather our relationship to it. 

  • Everything is energy! Thoughts, feelings, you, me, everything around us, all of life is energy. Since the laws of nature state matter can neither be created nor destroyed, we cannot get rid of pain but are able to transform and "recycle" it into something else. In other words even our difficulties and challenges can serve as a rich"compost" for our growth.

Our Work Together

  • Will be an ongoing, dynamic collaboration as it is a living, breathing entity of its own. Therapy is not about "fixing" people or problems: It is a healing, holistic process whereby you and I will  work together to discover your innate healing capacities, strengths, and resources to overcome your struggles.

  • Will be deeply enriched with sincere engagement and desire for change. In my years in the field, I have witnessed, and feel it is more enriching and empowering when the client is present for the "good, bad, and in-between" of what they experience through therapy. Genuine motivation for change then, is like the flame that keeps the engagement alight.

  • Will be challenging and feel uncomfortable at times. There will be "good" and "bad" days, and everything in between. However, we can be in that discomfort, pain, and "darkness" together as I will be your companion in the journey. To me, it is of utmost importance you feel safe and comfortable to be yourself.

  • Will be unique as you and I and will not be exactly like my work with someone else. As no two people are the same, each person may need and benefit from something different. What may be effective for one person may not be as much for another. I intend for each individual to get the most out of what they can, while maintaining the structure and integrity of therapy.

  • Last but not least, while my work may be unique with each individual, there are some common elements I like to maintain in my practice: awareness, compassion, empathy, kindness, humor, imagination & creativity, authenticity, and respect.